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If he hadn’t allowed this obsession to completely dominate your sex life-if he’d made some small effort to control himself-you might’ve been willing to let him act on his fantasy more than once. I guess what I’m trying to say, LOADS, is that your husband really blew it. Sometimes it’s not enough to tell, LOADS, sometimes you have to yell. if you’re downplaying the severity of your displeasure in a misguided effort to spare your husband’s feelings-then you need to get emphatic. And by “emphatically,” LOADS, I mean, “repeatedly and at the top of your lungs.” If not-if you’re doing that thing women are socialized to do, i.e. Now I’m assuming that you actually told him how you feel, LOADS, in clear and unambiguous terms and that you said what you needed to say emphatically. If you’ve already told your husband the “warm and salty load” talk is a turnoff and made it clear it’s the reason your sex life has pretty much collapsed and nevertheless he persists with the “warm and salty load” talk, well, then your husband is telling you he would rather not have sex than have sex without talking about warm and salty loads. Loves Obsesses About Dick SuckingĪ: If you can look at your husband and think, Things are better than ever!, despite the dismal state of your sex life, LOADS, I hate to think what life with him used to be like.

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I’m not sure how to make him see that it’s just not my thing and to get the focus back on just the two of us. So now we just don’t have sex except once every few months. I thought allowing him to live out his fantasy would help him “get over it,” so to speak, but that didn’t happen. I’ve told him I’m not into it but he enjoys talking about it so much he can’t help himself. He tells me he still finds me attractive but when we’re having sex the talk always goes to how he wants to take “warm and salty loads” down his throat. I even let him suck a dude off in front of me once and I didn’t enjoy it at all. We seldom have sex because his obsession with sucking off a guy with a small dick makes me feel unattractive and to be honest I don’t share the fantasy. Which is fine except it’s now the only thing that gets him off. Specifically, he wanted to suck a small one because his is very big and he wanted to “service” a guy who’s less hung than he is. A few years ago he started having fantasies about sucking dick. We’ve had our ups and our downs, same as any other couple, but these days life is better than it ever has been for us. Q: I’ve been with the same amazing man a dozen years.

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